


Desperate - Measures

by KathyWellerstein (orphan_account)



Category: Bucky Barnes - Fandom, Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel
Genre: Birth, Birthing, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, But then it gets lighter-ish, Childbirth, F/M, Giving Birth, Hydra (Marvel), Impregnation, Kidnapping, Near Death Experiences, Pregnancy, Protective Bucky Barnes, Steve Rogers and the 21st Century, Super Soldier Serum, contractions, delivery, powers, pushing, this gets kinda dark
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-25
Updated: 2018-02-03
Packaged: 2019-03-09 06:42:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,172
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13475880
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/KathyWellerstein
Summary: You are kidnapped by Hydra in the night. You awake to find you're pregnancy is being sped up, they want your + Bucky's baby.  Steve, Bucky, Sam, and Tony help you deal with the consequences.





	1. The opening

**Author's Note:**

> **I do not own any of the Marvel characters. No copyright infringement intended.

Your body felt heavy as you woke up. You blinked multiple times, trying to gauge your surroundings. The room was dimly lit, and smelt damp -- like an old garage. Trying to sit up, you realized your hands were restrained to the cold, steel table underneath you. Your legs were also strapped, you tried to wiggle out, but they were tight and resistant. Trying to remember how you got here, pieces of the puzzle started appearing. The last thing you remember was falling asleep in Bucky's arms. He always pulled you close and let you be the little spoon. You weren't as little as you used to be, your 5 month belly starting to show. You were both nervous about the impending parenthood both you and Bucky were facing, but had faith in each other - you were a team. And now you were separated. It couldn't have been more than a day since you were taken. Hydra must've grabbed you in the night and immediately taken you to a different location. Somewhere in New York, or a nearby state. Bucky, Steve, and Sam would find you - they had to. Realizing that if Hydra had had enough power to steal you in the night, then God only knew what state they were in. You tried to push your anxiety down, and focused on taking deep breaths. Just then, a bald doctor and blonde nurse walked into the room. Their demeanor scared you, they both looked capable of torture, or worse. You kept quiet, trying to gauge what they were doing. The doctor rolled a metal tray table, as the blonde walked behind your chair. She raised it several inches upward, you were face to face with your doctor. You legs also rose about waist high, and then separated - you were spread eagle in front of them. The doctor took a pair of sharp scissors and cut off your pants and underwear, ripped them off. He then cut off your top and bra, you were bare and exposed before him. You shivered and whimpered, unable to retain your sense of calm.

“Please, just let me go.” you whimpered, “I'm pregnant -- I don't want to --” You were cut off by a sharp pain as the nurse pricked your arm and injected a dark serum into you. It burned as it filled your veins, surging through your system. The doctor then took a speculum and inserted it into you - the metal was icy, and you jumped at the shock. He opened you , as wide as possible, and left you open. You then felt a warm liquid being squeezed into you. You started to scream, but the blonde forced a gag into your mouth. Silent tears started streaming down. You felt your body shift -- your belly bulging out, while your breasts grew heavier. You felt no pain, but could feel your skin stretching. You groaned as your belly grew heavier, dropping low on your waist. In a few minutes, you went from 5 to 9 months pregnant. The nurse took an ultrasound machine, squirted goo on to your belly, and moved the wand around. You couldn't see, but you could hear the steady heartbeat, it sounded strong.

“Full term, good dimensions, very healthy,” the nurse clipped, in her slight German accent.

“We've finally found the solution,” he chuckled.

Solution? You wondered. Your baby was half supersoldier, half regular human. You knew the super soldier serum was hit and miss for Hydra. They must've wanted to start over -- and your child seemed to be the ideal candidate. Your thoughts swam as you thought of Bucky, if he came to rescue you, but was captured, they could use you both to breed more. If you could go through 4 months in mere minutes, there was no telling how many children they would make you create.

“It's time for the next steps, isn't it, Mother?” He drawled. 

The nurse hooked your arm to an IV, and the clear liquid slowly filled your veins. Stomach cramps quickly started to occur, you tried to breathe through the pain. You felt something cold slide inside of you, then a quick gush of fluid ran down to the floor. They had broken your water.

“Pitocin and membrane rupture -- successful.” The doctor said. The nurse charted your progress on a clipboard, you caught a glimpse of her watch, it was 5 -- either am or pm. A stronger cramp began to build as the doctor removed the speculum. The nurse removed your gag, and you moaned through the pain. You could feel your walls stretching, you thought you were being torn in two.

“Ahhhhhhhhhh,” you cried out. “Mmmmnnnnnnnn”

“Breathe, Ms. Y/N” the doctor said.

“Fuck you!” you screamed. The painful contractions surged through you, a constant pain, your cervix stretching as widely as possible.. You panted, taking shallow breaths. It felt like dying, your lower half was on fire. You hoped that the transition wasn't hurting your baby, the pressure on your stomach was almost unbearable. The nurse wrapped a fetal heart rate monitor around your round stomach - the baby's heart beat quickly, but wasn't in any danger. She then covered your crotch with shaving cream and began to shave you, a few minutes later, you were bald and puffy -- the doctor stuck his gloved fingers into you “5 cm in ten minutes,” the doctor clipped as the nurse took notes.

“Speed the contractions up,” he instructed. The nurse adjusted the dial on your IV, you felt the liquid rush into your faster.

“God -- no -- please stop --STOP IT!!” you screeched, feeling the urge to bare down. Your hole opened wider and wider, the contractions harshly dilating you.You started pushing, the baby quickly shifting past your cervix, into your birth canal. Fingers were once again inside you, then withdrawn.

“To 10 cm in 4 minutes. Time to push,” Your hands clamped down on to the railings, and you pushed down. The baby didn't shift, you felt like you were pushing against something immovable. You sharply exhaled, and started to pant. The contractions were still coming one after the other, but you fought the urge for the next few minutes, panting heavily.

“Very brave, y/n. But if you try to stop giving birth, we will simply cut the child out. Your newly given super soldier serum will heal you afterward.” the doctor said

"And… we won't use anesthesia, either,” the nurse growled. 

The pain and exhaustion had worn you down. Your eyes were heavy, you felt helpless. You didn't give a shit about pride, just wanting to avoid unnecessary pain.

“Fine! You Nazi fuck! I'll push.” you said softly “Mmmmggghhhh,” you grunted, your warm baby moved inch by painful inch down your body. “Ahhhhhhhhhh,” you moaned, straining your muscles as you pushed. All you could do was push down, hoping that your child arrived safely, but lamenting that it would be taken from you. You gave shove after shove, grunting as you tried to force it forward. You could the baby made little progress, it would take hours, maybe a day to push it out. You brought your focus back, as you strained against your contractions. You pushed for several minutes, or was it hours? Time melted together as you strained to get your child out. Your moans and grunts echoed off the walls every time you pushed with a new contraction. It seemed they could only speed up your labor, but not the birth. 

You continued to bear down, sweaty hands clutching the metal sides for support. You needed Bucky -- only he could get you through this. Suddenly, both doors flung open, Bucky and Steve burst through the doors, guns in hand. Bucky quickly shot the blonde in the head -- right between the eyes. She fell to the floor with a round thump. Steve addressed the doctor, “Step away or he'll shoot!”

The doctor moved away from your spread legs, and towards Captain America. He slowly got on his knees, his hands wrapping around his head. Steve began to question him, but you could only comprehend your urge to push, and Bucky bolting toward you and cutting away your restraints. Once you were free, he scooped you into his arms, bridal style. You softly, and lovingly kissed, until you were cut off by a contraction.

“Bucky, I'm -- I'm pushing. I can't stop it. Shit -- the baby! They sped up the pregnancy -- Uuurrgggghhhh,” you grunted. You could feel the bulge the baby was making between your legs. You moaned and panted, willing the baby to stay inside. 

“Shhhh, it's ok, Doll. Just try to breathe, ok? You're gonna be okay, you'll both be ok,” he gave a small smile, his eyes full of worry. You nodded quickly, and tried your best to slow your body's pushes.

“Steve?” he yelled, “We have to go!” “Falcon?” Cap spoke into his ear comm, “Is the exit secure?”

“All clear, jet's ready,” Sam replied.

Bucky quickly turned and shot the doctor multiple times, he cried out as he slowly bled to death in a puddle of crimson. Steve nodded to Bucky, and both started running out of the room and down the halls to get you out of the base. You clamped your eyes closed as your body bore down. You tried to pant and resist the urge, but you could feel yourself bulging outward with each push, the baby sliding back in when you let up.

“We're almost there,” said Bucky. You felt fresh air on your body as they ran to the Quinjet, hands clamped into Bucky's jacket, you couldn't help it, you let out a loud shriek. He ran up the ramp, then gently sat you down against the back wall. Sam and Steve filed in, and you were airborne in a minute. The boys removed various pieces of their costumes, Steve going to the front of the jet to sit with whoever was piloting Sam coming towards you and crouching down. Various medical supplies were stacked in the jet, he reached for a box and donned plastic gloves. You pushed again, squeezing Bucky's metal hand as you spread your knees wider. You pushed through the contraction, and into a short respite.

“Y/n, is it okay if I check you?” Sam asked, “I promise -- I'll be gentle.”

You nodded, trying to rest between pains. You felt fingers inside, and another hand on your womb. “Ok, everything feels fine Y/n,” Sam confirmed, the baby had retreated back into you, you'd lost any progress that had been made, “Bucky, it will help if you sit behind her and support her.” Bucky quickly moved behind you, his legs outside of yours, hands both rubbing your belly. Sam placed a towel over your chest, for modesty. You moaned in agony, your child was larger and heavier than you thought it would be. “Whenever you're ready, you can push,” Sam confirmed. 

Bucky leaned forward held your bent legs back, spreading you wider as you clutched his upper arms for support. Another contraction rose, you inhaled and pushed down as hard as you could. Bucky whispered softly encouragements into your ear. You could feel the pressure in your pelvis and butt, your body signaling to push the baby out. Any previous progress that had been made had been lost. You worked together for the next hour, breathing and pushing. You could feel Bucky pushing in sympathy, he reminder to breathe applied to both you and him. He focused back on supporting you as best as he could. The baby's move was slow, you had to strain to make centimeters of progress. After what felt like an eternity, you felt the head breech your entrance. It stretched you wider than you'd ever been, burning as the head moved out. Tears came back, and you sobbed quietly. The baby seemed to move at a glacial pace. Your contractions were seconds apart, non stop. Your body wanted to expel the baby as soon as possible.You pushed, gritting your teeth together, loud, angry grunts coming from your mouth. Sam's fingers slowly pulled you open, circling your hole in attempt to make more room. It felt like it would never end- each long push ended with the baby retreating back a little bit. It was two steps forward, and one step back. You strained as you pushed yourself forward, determined to move the baby out. You could feel the familiar pressure between your legs, you then felt the head begin to crown. With every push, you opened wider and wider, the ring of fire was burning intensely. The baby's head finally broke free of your gaping slit. Little by little, with each straining push you felt the forehead slide out -- then ears, then nose, lips, and finally the chin slipped out of you. You screamed at the relief the baby's neck gave you, a small gush of fluid came out as the head popped out, and you fell back against Bucky, trying to draw in his strength. He could see the pained expression on your face, while concern filled his. He knew it was his fault-finding that you were kidnapped, that they'd done this to you and your baby. If he could, he would desecrate the remains of Hydra, and bring all the goon's working at that base back to life, so he could viscously murder them again. He was pulled out of his thoughts by your soft voice.

“Bucky, it's -- it hurts too much. I don't think I can get the baby out,” exhaustion filled your voice. Your hair was cold and wet, sweat poured out of you and had coated your scalp. Your skin was pale, purple bags hung under your eyes. Sam made sure to untangle the umbilical cord from the baby's throat.

“But, you are, doll. The baby's almost out, just a little more -- then you can rest,” he coached, gently wiping the sweat from your face with his sleeve. You began to cry louder, your sobs becoming more desperate. "No -- it hurts so badly -- too much. And, I'm so tired. Please...please, I just need to rest..."

Bucky kissed your lips, the pressed a hard kiss to your forehead. “ I love you -- love you so much. I know you're tired, sweetheart, but I need you to work for a little longer. Just a few more pushes, okay?,” he said. 

You pressed as much of yourself against him as you could, wanting him to protect you from the pain. You couldn't push anymore, and closed your eyes. Your body and mind were depleted. They hadn't given you the super soldier serum, at least not sucessfully. Hydra was killing you -- yourself and your baby. You only felt agony. They should've just cut you open, and been done with it. You didn't open your eyes until you felt a warm hand on top of your own. Steve had come over, his eyes filled with determination.

“When we were young, women had their babies at home. Sometimes I helped, if my mother needed it. This is always the hardest part. But, it's just the shoulders, just get them out, and Sam can do the rest,” he encouraged. “It's almost over, you're so close Y/n. Don't let them win, baby's almost here,” he took your hand and placed it over the baby's head. You felt the wet hair, and soft head, it was unlike anything you'd ever felt. It gave you a new source of energy out of nowhere. You gathered what little strength you had, and sat back up. Steve moved a cold bottle of water to your lips, you took a deep drink as he held your right leg back, and grasped your other hand. Bucky took your other leg, and did the same. You felt the next contraction rise, and then bore down with everything you had.

“Mmmmhhhhhmmmm -- unnghhhh!” you moaned

“Good, good, Y/n,” Sam praised, “That's it, keep pushing. Come on, a little more!”

You exhaled sharply, then filled your lungs with air and pushed down. The moment seemed to go on and on, you could feel yourself stretched open, you'd never felt agony like this. You pushed your chin to your chest, small grunts escaped your throat.

"That's it, Y/n, don't stop pushing, bare down. Almost there -- you're almost there," Bucky whispered.

"You're doing it, Y/n," said Steve "Push -- push with everything you have. You're almost to the end."

The shoulders slowly emerged, stretching you even further open, they pushed out at a glacial pace, you felt yourself tearing, blood running out of you. You were open and exposed, a wave of panic hitting you -- you started taking short, panicked breaths. The pain was too much, each contraction surging through you, your body worked to expel the baby, but didn't know if you could finish. 

"Shhhh, it's ok, you're okay. You're safe. You're safe with me.I'm not gonna gonna let anything happen to either of you, trust me. Try to focus, okay? You have to push." Bucky stroked your hair and placed gentle kisses on your neck. You breathed deeply, gaining your composure. "Bare down for me, doll. Baby's almost here. Come on, push." You inhaled deeply and bore down. Time seemed to slow, almost freeze. It was just you, the baby, and Bucky - the rest of the world had gone quiet. A pained expression in your eyes, you opened your mouth to scream, but no sound came out. You knew you needed every ounce of energy in this push. The baby' big shoulders made their way out, and Sam put his hands under the baby's arms, and slowly tugged the baby from you.

"That's it, finish it -- push -- you're almost there, " Bucky whispered to you. You gave a final hard shove and screamed as you felt the rest of the baby slip from you - your shrieking reverberated through the jet, warm fluid surged out alongside it. A long moment of silence filled the jet, then it was cut by a shrieking newborn.

“It's a girl!” Sam called. You smiled in your exhaustion, Sam placed the baby on your chest, as Steve let your leg down, and went and got a small blanket to wrap her up in. You daughter’s dark hair was surprisingly thick. She had Bucky's eyes and nose, but your lips and chin. You gazed down at her in awe, tears started streaming down your face.

“Hey, little girl,” you said softly, “Oh -- we finally got to meet you. Mama loves you. I'm so glad you're okay,” you started to cry again. Bucky looked at your daughter over your shoulder, he was in awe of the tiny creature in your lap. He knew he would do anything to protect his new little girl. He was filled with an almost indescribable love for the girls in his arms. You brought the baby to your shoulder, and you both kissed her head. Bucky then kissed your forehead, then finally your lips. You rested there, foreheads touching, you didn't know for how long. The baby's crying died down, and she fell asleep against your chest. Sam massaged you stomach, making sure the the placenta detached. You felt another cramp in your abdomen.

“Just a few more for the afterbirth,” Sam said. You nodded and pushed in short spasms, expelling the placenta a minute later. Sam wrapped laid it to your side, on top of a small towel. He waited until the cord stopped pulsing, the gently clamped it in two places.

“Do you want to?” He motioned to you and Bucky, with a small pair of medical scissors. Bucky looked to you, you gave a small nod, then he looked up -- “Steve?”

Steve stopped looking at the baby, and locked eyes with Bucky.

“Do you want to?” Bucky asked with a smile. Tears filled Steve's eyes, he replied with a soft

“Absolutely.” He took the scissors and gently snipped the cord. After it was done, he smiled and nodded at Bucky, then gave you a kiss on the forehead. Sam went to get bottles of water to clean you and the baby with. You rested against Bucky's chest, cradling your baby. You felt yourself slowly drifting to sleep, feeling lighter and lighter as it pulled you under.

“Sam?!” Steve called, “There's too much blood! What should we do?”

You heard them scurry around you -- you baby was taken from your arms, Bucky laid you down flat and slid to the side. Sam began giving instructions, but you couldn't make out any of the words as you lost consciousness.


	2. Post Partum

“Postpartum hemorrhage, we've got to find the source of the bleeding!” Sam said, urgently. Bucky gently scooped the baby from your chest, and froze beside you. He could see the pool of blood expanding below your waist. He tried to calm his internal panic as the baby began to cry. Steve gently pushed Bucky into a seat so he could comfort the newborn.

Steve went to your side and checked the pulse on your neck.

“It's  slowing down! Her blood pressure is too low. She'll need something -- a - a transfusion?”

No longer holding back, sam sterilized his arm with alcohol and shoved it into you, elbow deep. He hoped your uterus hadn't ruptured, and felt around for any detached organs.

“Nothing feels detached. It was probably the strain from the pushing, and the baby growing too quickly,” he called. “She will need blood, and possibly surgery. FRIDAY - do we have any O negative on board?”

“Negative, Sir. Nearest source for transfusion is back at Avengers compound,” the feminine voice replied.

“FRIDAY, do a scan. Check for other sources of injury,” called the voice from the front of the jet. Tony appeared, and walked towards them, fiddling with a clear control pad in his hands. Bucky looked shocked and terrified, the baby was finally quieting down.

“Dr. Wilson's diagnosis is correct, boss. Transfusion and internal surgery are required. Estimated time till mortal blood pressure drop: 10 minutes.”

“How long till we're at the compound?” he called? Pieces of an Iron Man suit began to assemble beside him.

“ETA to compound: 35 minutes.”

“She's not gonna make it!” Steve yelled.

Tony shook his head, “She won't...but this will,” he nodded to the red suit beside him. It flipped itself on its back, and opened -- waiting to be inhabited.

“It's coded to her body. When's she's inside it'll stop the bleeding, and make sure she gets there in time,”

Steve gave a small, hesitant frown, then looked back at Sam, then to Bucky.

“Damn it, Rogers!” Tony shouted “I may have history with him,” he gestured to Bucky “But I'm not a Goddamn monster! I'm not lying -- she will make it, and she will live, we just need to get her there in time.” he gave a pregnant pause “No kid should grow up without a mother,” he said, forcefully.

Steve quickly nodded to Bucky as Sam scooped you up and gently laid you into the suit. Bucky stood over you, baby girl still in his arms, and watches the suit enclose you. He heard the door of the jet open, wind rushing around as the suit’s eyes glowed with electricity, and flew you out the hatch.

“Friday, monitor MARK LXIV, give us updates, and project suit monitors,” Tony instructed as he got back into the pilots seat. Everyone sat down in respective seats, and buckles themselves in. Bucky was extra gentle, maneuvering his metal arm so it wouldn't hurt the baby.

“Yes boss,” FRIDAY answered. A holograph appeared above Tony’s horizontal tablet, as well as filling a large space in the back, so the other guys could see the suits flight.

“ETA to compound - 4.0 minutes” FRIDAY clipped, “Vaginal wound bleeding: dropped from 86% to 0.127 % in last 6.0 minutes. Compound medical staff has been alerted and are standing by to receive Mark LXIV.”

“Have them prep the cradle as well,” Tony unstructured.

“Instructions sent, boss.”

Sam, Bucky, and Steve watched intently as the suit zoomed downward. Bucky was breathing heavily, trying to keep steady. He didn't want the baby to wake up, but he also feared for your life. Sam had just noticed your blood had soaked part of his pant legs. He tried not to think about how many units were still puddling on the floor in the back. Steve's hands were clasped together, as he muttered softly to himself -- was he, praying?

The silence among all four of them was deafening. Minutes ticked by, but it felt like hours. They could see the compound as the suit lowered for landing. Two doctors and a nurse anxiously stood by the open hanger door. The suit traveled the final few feet into the compound, laying you horizontally, before finally opening. Everyone in the Quinjet's exhaled loudly.  You were gently lifted onto a hospital gurney and wheeled you further into the building. They came to a larger area and slowed down, finally halting near the corner of the room. The immediately went to work, hooking an IV into your arm, connecting you to monitors. Though your blood pressure was low, your heartbeat was strong. One of the doctors moved your legs apart while the other slid a lamp over, pointing it in your direction. The doctor finally looked between your legs, pressing his gloved hand into you. Bucky looked away, unable to watch someone touching you in that way. He knew it was to save your life, but your nakedness left you vulnerable, and he hated seeing you like that. The words “balloon tamponade” and “IV” were thrown around in the room. The doctors went to work on you, and the sounds on the holograph were lowered. They felt like they were invading your privacy, but still wanted to know you would be ok. The fussing noises from the baby snapped everyone out of their respective mindsets. Bucky gently rocked the baby, hoping to sooth her. Steve gave a smile towards the two -- if anyone deserved a happy ending, it was Bucky and Y/n.

“So...have you two picked out a name?” Tony asked, keeping his voice low and calm. Bucky gave a small nod. “We've thought about a few -- Y/n likes 'Katherine’ or 'Elena,’ I like “Rebecca.”

“Those are both sharp names,” Sam reassured, “Though, not as good as “Samantha,” if you asked me. Everyone chuckled, “There's no way in Hell we're naming the baby after you, Falcon,”Bucky declared.

Tony sniggered - “You know, Antonia Barnes is a name that'll get her places. It even sounds like a trademark -- she'll want to consider that when ordering future business cards.” Bucky smiled, but the smile was not reflected in his eyes.

“If she doesn't make it, it'll be Y/N Elena Barnes,” he breathed deeply.

“She will, Buck” Steve consoled “They'll make sure she does. We've earned a college of injuries on the team, the cradle - and modern medicine- have come a long way”

The jet descended for landing, the energy in the room turned anxious -- everyone wanted to see you. Sam tried not to think of everything that could go wrong. Postpartum hemorrhages were rare, though sometimes severe. If they had to, they could give you a hysterectomy, which would mean Hydra could no longer have a chance at using you to create more children. He wondered if that would be preferable to your current state.

The jet finally landed, and they all filed out of the hatch.

“Friday, please have... someone mop and sanitize the jet,” Tony ordered

“Yes boss. Urgent update on Miss Y/n,” she replied.

“What -- could they not stop the bleeding?” Tony froze in his tracks, the others followed suit.

“The bleeding has ceased. Monitors from the medical wing show Ms. Y/n with a pulse of zero beats per minute. Medical staff are currently applying CPR and life saving measures. Current amount of time they've been applying measures: 1.3 minutes”

Everyone froze and exchanged eye contact, Sam lifted the baby from Bucky's arms. Steve, Bucky, and Tony started sprinting to the building.


	3. Safety Not Guaranteed

The white noise was pervasive throughout Bucky's body. A dull ringing echoed in his ears, along with the steady beating of his pulse. He'd never been more thankful for the serum -- he and Steve bounded forward, while Tony dropped behind. They slowly closed the distance between themselves and the building.

“FRIDAY -- open the doors to the --- just open the nearest doors!!” Tony commanded. The glass doors slide open as all three barreled into the compound. Steve sprinted to the front as he led them all to the medical wing. Bucky could see the doctor working on you, two hands pressing up and down urgently over your heart, another administering oxygen via a resuscitation bag, pumping the handle to administer breaths. The flat tone filled the air -- what should've been a steady rhythm was just a high tone -- your heart unable to beat on its own. Steve almost tackled Bucky so he wouldn't run up and disturb the doctor's work. Wrapping his arms around Bucky's torso, he dragged him backward, so the stood 10-15’ in front of the scene. Tony caught up, desperately gasping to catch his breath.

“Why the --*deep breath in and out* -- why the f*ck did I just run over here? Five other suits in the jet -- Jesus…” his head hung low as he struggled to stay upright. After a few moments, he quietly walked up behind the two. He didn't like feeling helpless or out of control of the situation. He channeled his energy and emotional investments elsewhere. Striding further into the building, he signaled his gold titanium alloy suit down to his workshop, and barricaded himself in his substantial office. Sam and the baby found their way into the scene, unsure of where to go. 

“Buck?” Steve called “Sam has your daughter. Do you want to go inside and -- try to --”

“No” he said firmly, “I can't leave her. Not alone, not when most of this is my fault,” he said in a low growl. Steve frowned as Sam stepped forward, “If it's okay, we're gonna find some clothes, and maybe formula for the baby. That okay with you?” 

Bucky quickly nodded, his eyes not leaving your face. You had turned pale, paler than you should. You were too still -- you should've been sleeping quietly while the rest of the team sent their congratulations. Should've still been pregnant, complaining about the swelling in your feet. It wasn't supposed to be like this, none of it was. His eyes caught the movement of Steve and Sam walking away, and Bucky snapped back into the moment, and called out  “Wait!” as he jogged up to them. They both turned as Bucky looked down at his daughter, her big blue eyes were softly hooded. He gently stroked her hair as he brought a kiss to her forehead. 

“She's not gonna be happy that I let you give her formula,” he chuckled lightly, a pained smile peeking from the corners of his lips. He locked eyes with Sam, silently communicating his intent. 

“Don't worry, Cyberman, we'll make sure she understands that Uncle Sam is the only intelligent one in this place,” Sam joked. Steve clasped his hand on Bucky's shoulder, and nodded silently towards him. “I'll keep him in check. I think Y/n threw away all the little bird costumes she got at the baby shower, anyway” he implied. Bucky did his best to hold the tears in his eyes as he turned back to you. The other two men and the baby quietly entered the compound, going straight to the new baby's room. 

Bucky walked back to the scene, confused by the decrescendo the noise had made. The doctor's actions weren't as urgent, and he'd hoped it was because you had come back successfully. Worry seeped into his mind as he realized you were still unmoving, now covered up to your chest with a clean sheet. As he drew closer, he could see the silent movements from your chest rising and falling. He walked up to you and snaked your hand in his. As the doctors continued to move their equipment back to its proper place, the nurse came towards Bucky.

“She's stable right now. We're giving her fluids to increase her hydration. A few hours of rest should do her some good,” she comforted.

He was filled with a small amount of assurance, “Thank you -- for everything -- for saving her,” he whispered. 

“We didn't,” the nurse replied, “Dr. Fray was about to call time of death, her blood pressure dropped and she was unresponsive to the Oxygen and CPR.” 

“Then, how is she alive?” he inquired.

“We don't know. We'll run a few more tests in the next few days. If I didn't know better, I'd say someone up there likes you.”

She means God, he thought. It wasn't, though, he knew that much. It wasn't religion or mysticism that saved you. If you were alive, it was for a purpose, and he knew that Hydra didn't spare anyone without taking something in return. Whatever they'd done had saved you, but he hated to think of what would happen when they'd come to collect. Plans and escape routes flitted in and out of his head, his train of thought only broken by a soft hand cupping his in return, squeezing back. You looked up to his sullen face, relieved to be awake.

“Hi,” you said.

Bucky began to weep, “Hi back. Y/n, you scared the hell out of us. There was so much blood, and the baby was crying, and you weren't waking up. I thought you would...we all wondered if we'd have to --”

“Hey, shhhhhhhhhhh,” you comforted. “It’s okay. I'm okay. Just exhausted,” you gave a weak smile. “Is the baby okay?” 

He kissed you - as if it would make the rest of the world fade, and moor you both to the planet. You didn't mind, stolen moments, such as this, were few and far between. You felt warm, wet droplets hit your cheeks, as Bucky lost himself in his emotions.


	4. Dear Theodosia

Your recovery was unnervingly quick. After a big breakfast and quick, warm shower, Dr. Cho took your vitals as Bucky held your hand. He had barely left your side since you'd awoken, save for checking on the baby (who Sam and Steve had fallen in love with). They hadn't brought her to you, in case you were contagious with whatever you had. You breasts ached, full of milk, and you felt a little soreness in your body.

“All your tests came back with shining results. You body seems to be metabolizing at four times the rate of a regular human, and your cells replicate with anywhere up to one to one hundred times faster than they used to. These attributes are tied to your  cerebral cortex,” Dr. Cho smiled, though Bucky's face was etched with concern.

“What does that mean for y/n? Did Hydra infect her? Are there potential side effects that we might not be aware of -- could it...wear off?” Bucky knew the situation was too good to be true. Hydra didn't give anything for free. If they'd given you a better body, it's because they wanted to use it for something. He instinctively flexed his metal arm, trying to suppress the memories that were tied with it. Anything they created was to be weaponized, it was only a matter of time before they came back.

You squeezed Bucky's human hand as a gesture of reassurance.

“It means that any sustained injury has the ability to be healed, as long as Y/N  wants it to. That's why you've healed so quickly in a few hours, when you are conscious, your body subconsciously tells it's muscles to heal and repair. The more you focus, the better you'll become” Dr Helen was giddy, she'd hope to replicate her findings. A person who could heal themselves was a scientific breakthrough.

You were more curious than concerned, “So, if I feel sore right now it's because I -- want to feel it?” You were unsure what to make of it. Why would you carry more pain than was needed? Why hadn't this ability just kicked in and saved you after you delivered your baby?

“In a sense, yes. Your body will heal you enough to stop any mortal damage. But to become fully healed, you have to make yourself do it.”

You took a breath and concentrated on the ache in your pelvis. You thought of healing, picturing yourself healthy, in your pre-pregnancy state. Nothing happened. You let out a frustrated sigh, shutting your eyes and focusing on fixing your body. Still nothing happened. 

“Are we sure about this, because nothing's happening right now, and I'm trying to heal the crap outta myself!” you said in frustration. Bucky let out a small laugh.

“Maybe it takes time? This skill -- this change is new. You just need to become accustomed to it.”

Bucky shook his head, “This doesn't make sense -- if she can heal herself, why did she almost bleed out in the Quinjet? Why didn't this miraculous 'subconscious healing power’ just fix her right then?”

“Because the serum was still being processed by her system. The body cannot heal itself during childbirth. It had to led the pain and contractions happen in order to get the baby out. After your daughter was born, all of her -- for lack of a better scientific term-- 'old’ blood and neural networks had to die in order for the new cells to take over.” She turned to you “Because you were so focused on delivering your child, any of that instinct -- that will -- would have gone to your baby. You didn't care about yourself at that point, you were to focused on the baby.”

You took a minute to process all of this. It did make sense, in a weird way. It wasn't until you were away from your baby and your Bucky that you'd really started to heal. There presence must've influenced you. When you were by yourself, or people you weren't emotionally attached to, you could focus solely on your own well being. As much as you'd have liked to find out about this new power, your breasts started leaking milk. You groaned in discomfort, needing some release. “I want to see my baby, where is she?”

“With Steve and Sam,” Bucky informed you, “Hey Friday? Get Spangles and Sparrow to bring me my kid!” He said loudly.

“Right away Sergeant Barnes,” the AI confirmed.

Feeling heavy and sore, you unsnapped the side of your medical gown. You could see a tiny bundle in Steve's arms, and a smile blocked on your face when he brought her over.

“Look who's awake, baby girl!” Steve said with enthusiasm as he smiled down at your daughter, then at you. He carefully transferred her into your waiting arms, and you swelled with emotion. She had your facial features, but the eyes and hair were clearly Bucky's -- maybe the ears too. Bucky helped you slowly unwrap her from the swaddling, till she was just in her diaper. It may've been late, but you wanted her to experience skin to skin contact. You gently held her in one arm, while the other brought your nipple to her mouth. As if on instinct, she latched, and you sighed in relief. You stroked her thick hair and breathed in her new baby scent. Bucky kissed your forehead, then gently ran his hands around the baby's feet and legs -- he marveled at the sight of you two. Tears began to leak from his eyes, he sniffed quietly. He sat next to you, draping his arms around you both -- never wanting to let go. You rested your head against his chest, savoring the moment, you were a little family now. The thought terrified you, being a new mom was nerve wracking enough, but being a mom on TOP of being hunted by a universal party of Nazi wannabe’s? Fuck -- never a dull day, you guessed. Sam giggled at the sight before him, Bucky looked annoyed, asking “And what is so funny, Wilson?”

“Nothing, just the world's deadliest assassin crying over a tiny baby. Never thought I'd see that happen.” Sam smirked.

“Well, if you wanna live to see tomorrow you'll keep your chuckles to yourself. And eyes off my wife's breasts!” Bucky insisted.

“Hey! I've already seen it all, nothing perverted going on here -- I swear. It's cute -- y’all are cute. How bout we take a picture?” Sam implored

“That's actually a good idea, Sam,” Steve confirmed. Sam took out his phone and readied his camera app. The baby had finished eating and fallen asleep. You pulled her from you, and Bucky delicately snapped your gown back together. He closed his eyes and kissed you softly, his warm breath on your face. Sam started taking pictures at a furious rate while Steve looked on, proudly. You posed for a few pictures, and started to feel sleepy, and achy. Sam,  Helen, and Steve noticed this, and quietly left you all. You knew you had to do one final thing before drifting off, you asked Bucky to bring one to you (someone had conveniently left a smorgasbord of baby supplies in the corner of the room), and you pumped until you no longer ached.

You closed your eyes and leaned against Bucky, “Do you think whatever Hydra gave me is in the baby too?” You asked.

“I -- I don't know.” he replied “If they did, it may not necessarily be a bad thing, for now. The idea that are daughter is a little bit safer….” he trailed, unsure of how to phrase the rest of the response. Changing the subject “What should we name her? Are we set on Rebecca Elena Barnes?” 

“We'll, I've been thinking. Since Tony saved us...what if it was Rebecca Maria? That's a nice name”

Bucky seemed to agree “Stark's ego is gonna inflate so big, his head will pop off. But, if you like it then I like it too,” he smiled. You smiled back as sleep overtook you. Bucky scooped you up and carried you to your shared bedroom, laying you on the bed, and putting baby Rebecca in the bassinet near the bed. Wait, why was there a bassinet? He looked around the room, treading softly. Opening the closet, he saw it was filled with diapers, bottles, clothing, and almost any other baby related thing one could wish for. He smiled, knowing all the expense could've only been paid by one man. Bucky quietly left the room, as he walked back downstairs he asked Friday to alert him if either of you woke up, the A.I. confirmed his request. He made his way to Tony's office, knocking, then letting himself in. Tony was busy behind his desk, pensively studying the compound’s security system.

Bucky walked up to him, “Hey...thank you… for everything. I mean - you saved them, both of them. Thank you for taking care of them both, and for,” he chuckled softly, “ For all the baby stuff.”

Tony, never looking away from his screen, “You're welcome, Barnes. Hollar if you need anything else. I trust the misses and baby girl are doing well?” The question was redundant, Friday sent him regular alerts on all the people in the building. He knew you were both going to be okay, and about your updated state of being.

“They're fine -- just tired. It's been a long 72 hours,” Bucky confirmed, “Baby Rebecca Maria loves her new baby bed.”

Tony grinned, unable to hold back his joy. He finally looked up, then left his desk and pulled Bucky into an uncharacteristic hug. Bucky was surprised, but hugged him back. Tony pulled away, “My mom would've liked Y/n, and the baby. And maybe even you, Barnes.” 

Bucky suppressed his guilt. Tony had forgiven him after he'd seen all the footage from Natasha's leaked files. That, on top of the Smithsonian records about Bucky's past. 

He was stubborn, but eventually caved when Natasha pointed out that Hawkeye had killed several SHIELD agents while under Loki's mind control influence, yet he hadn't been blamed for any of their deaths. It was the same with Bucky. Tony had begrudgingly forgiven him -- or was at least civil enough not to kill him, and let him move into the compound. He slowly learned Bucky's habits and personality traits, he knew he suffered from severe nightmares (most likely PTSD induced), that Bucky was actually very gentle and respectful. He could see why Steve was best friends with him. He finally had a long discussion with Steve about everything that had happened -- from Steve's days as a small, sickly kid to Tony's kidnapping and friendship with Yinsen. Steve felt as much guilt about Bucky and the train as Tony felt about Rhodes's injury. It was difficult to discuss these year's worth of issues, FRIDAY moderated their discussion using positive “I feel _____ when you do ____,” statements. Tony thought they were crap, but it was a relief to finally bury the hatchet. Then you had come along, and given Bucky happiness and peace. Steve hadn't seen Bucky that happy since before the war, or maybe ever. He hoped you would help give Bucky what he'd always deserved - love.

Tony brought up the holographic blueprints of the compound. “This is the night of y/n’s kidnapping,” he showed three Hydra agents disabling Friday's failsafe and stealing into your bedroom, while another did the same in Steve's room. Tony and the others slept in the opposite side of the compound, none of them had been affected by the break in. Bucky watched as they injected you all with some sort of powerful tranquilizer, then one agent scooped you into his arms, and carried you out the window. Bucky was frozen, he had been powerless to stop them, he feared something like this would happen again. “Don't worry, I'm updating the safety protocols for the entire compound. If an ant crawls within 50 ft of your window, Friday will detect it and determine if it's a threat. There's also gonna be three extra alarms and a new lockdown procedure, as well as DNA confirmation. If someone hovers over that child, and Friday doesn't recognize their approved DNA, they'll get a swift, yet powerful blast to the chest. Then Friday will encase them in an electrically charged-- they're gonna get stuck and not be able to move or escape. They try going anywhere, they'll get a little shock that makes them take an immediate nap...and makes them unable to move any bodily appendages.”

Bucky felt a little better. Technology had come a long way, but some things could only be dealt with by human instinct and strategy. “Thanks Anthony,” he said. 

“We'll, you're welcome -- uhm -- James…” 

“Too weird?” Bucky implored.

“Too weird,” Tony confirmed.

They both gave a little laugh. Tony's expression then turned serious again, “I should have had this put in place before. I could've prevented -- “ he struggled to find words. “Kidnapping is one thing, I know that, on a personal level. But, to take an innocent pregnant woman and use her for -- genetic experimentation, that's -- it makes you wanna do --”

“Anything and everything to make sure it never happens again? Yeah, I know.” Bucky said, “They're coming, Tony. They'll come back, and if I lose my daughter -- lose Y/n ---”

“Hey, you're talking to a former weapons manufacturer. They'll have to burn down the entire state to get to them. And even then, they'll have to fight through an army of suits.” Tony reassured. Bucky nodded, knowing how much effort Tony put in to save the team, even save complete strangers. As if on queue, baby Rebecca woke up crying. Friday quickly notified him about you both- Bucky could see a holograph of your room, and that you had gotten up and we're trying to find what had upset her. Bucky had a thought, “You don't watch us when we make lov--  uhm, when Y/n and I are….”

“Eating fondue for dessert? No, I do not, Barnes. I have Friday auto-edit out those Rated R moments from the feed. For my own sake...and sanity.”

Bucky smiled to himself, relieved that he hadn't been Tony's personal peep show.

“I should get back, then.”

“You do that. Let me know if you need anything else: babysitter, wet nurse, ear plugs --- enormous glass of whiskey. It can all be arranged.”

“Will do,” Bucky headed out of the office.

“And Barn-- Bucky!” Tony called

“Yeah?”

“Congratulations, on everything. It's never too early to think about boarding school admissions, or private tutoring. If you're raising your kid in my house, she's only gonna have the best of the best!”

Bucky smiled and gave a quick salute. Tony grinned, then went back to work on his security updates. He knew nothing was ever perfect, but maybe it would be enough, just enough. 

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Please leave comments or kudos!


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